BUZZ WORD DICTIONARY


Buzz words used by the United States Government:

1. POLYGRAPH:
(A) Usual understanding: Device used to determine if an individual is lying.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: Device used to ferret out thieves and spies. Also may be used to discredit those claiming POWs 'still survive.' In cases where a witness passes a polygraph on his live sighting of a POW, the government has two fall back positions;
(1) Subject did not see what he(she) thought he(she) saw.
(2) Subject is an habitual liar, with the ability to beat the machine.

2. LIVE SIGHTING:
(A) Usual understanding: Report from a person who has seen an American POW/MIA alive.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: See 1, above sub-paragraph (B)(1)-(2).

3. COLLABORATOR:
(A) Usual understanding: Anyone who, while a POW, assists the enemy by word or deed, to the detriment of the United States of America and/or his fellow POWs.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: Robert R. Garwood or anyone else, who should make good on an escape from the Gulag of Southeast Asia, since the general release of POWs in 1973.

4. THOSE WHO WISH TO BE THERE:
(A) Usual understanding: Not applicable if, as the United States Government claims, "They are all dead."
(B) U.S. Government understanding: See 3, above, sub-paragraph (B).

5. INTELLIGENCE OFFICER:
(A) Usual understanding: An individual of the intelligence branch of the military or assigned the duty to analyze intelligence or gather that intelligence to determine the truth behind enemy intentions or actions. When used to describe certain members of the DOD POW/MIA office, may in fact be a contradiction in terms.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: The last word on POW intelligence, unless the officer begins to believe POWs were left behind. Then the Intelligence Officer in question becomes; senile, incompetent, a womanizer, wife beater or closet homosexual.
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6. POW ACTIVIST:
(A) Usual understanding: Someone who believes POWs survive and demands U.S. Government action to free them.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: See 5(B) and, if POW ACTIVIST is a female, substitute whore, man hater and lesbian for womanizer, wife beater and homosexual.

7. HONEST DEBATE:
(A) Usual understanding: Exchange of ideas in such a manner as to achieve understanding and common ground, if possible.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: Beat down any opposition with pure B.S. and lies, if required, and fall back on 5(B); 6(B) if needed to prevail.

8. NATIONAL TECHNICAL MEANS:
(A) Usual understanding: Satellites, spy planes, radio intercepts and etc., used to gather other than HUMINT on any subject.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: A term to use when you have no HUMINT, but wish to claim knowledge or a reference to things never really used, but so "secret" they cannot really be discussed.

9. THE FAMILIES:
(A) Usual understanding: Any relative of those still missing from various wars.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: Any relative of an MIA who believes the U.S. Government is doing all it can to "resolve the issue." But this term does not apply to those who have broken with the National League of Families and joined the National Alliance of Families. These people can be described by any terms including; whores, drunks, bums, wannabees or nuts, but never as FAMILIES.

10. FORENSIC ANTHROPOLOGIST:
(A) Usual understanding: Those, usually holding a Ph.D., who deal in the identification and cause of death pertaining to the remains of human beings.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: Anyone who can identify bones from any source as those of an American missing from the Southeast Asian conflict. These people need not possess a Ph.D. to be referred to as "Doctor" as long as they can take a tooth or a few fragments of bone and declare another name on the list dead.
11. ROBERT GARWOOD:

(A) Usual understanding: Private USMC, who returned from Vietnam in 1979, long after all POWs were to have returned. Was court-martialed and found guilty of collaboration with the enemy. Was found innocent of desertion. Claims others still alive.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: "White Gook," deserter, voluntary stay behind and someone who is lying about seeing other POWs. Also the subject of every live sighting report as no one else was left there alive.

12. COLONEL ROBERT L. HOWARD: (A) Usual understanding: America's most decorated soldier of the Vietnam War.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: Drunk, liar and maniac.

13. ANTI-COMMUNIST RESISTANCE:
(A) Usual understanding: Freedom fighters.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: Bandits, charlatans, murderers and Rambo wannabees.

14. MOST FAVORED NATION:
(A) Usual understanding: Nations which develop through open trade and meet the minimum standards for human rights and free emigration.
(B) U.S. Government understanding: Vietnam.


Copyright 1998, by Mark A. Smith, Major, USA, Retired

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